sometimes I think things in my head that are exciting
me:my reason for brbing is twofold, the compulsion to urinate was imminently going to win a glorious victory over the strength and fortitude of my pelvic floor muscles, and also my teeth were festooned in dessicated coconut and my mouth tasted of regret*.
before I shower:ugh damn it i'm too lazy and i don't want to shower ill do it later
when I'm in the shower:sweet jesus christ what is this magical fuckery this is the most relaxing thing ever it's like a vacation in my own bathroom so warm so magical this is holy water that's been blessed by god himself i never want to leave this spot as it wraps its pleasuring waters or warmth around my body
“Watch any porn made after, say, 1988, and it’s all hairless down there: close-ups are like watching one of the Mitchell brothers, with no eyes, eating a very large, fidgety sausage.”—Caitlin Moran, How to be a Woman (via mountainsoutofmolehills)
my stomach is not happy with the feast I just gave it
what a lot of salad I just consumed. 7 of my 5 a day in one sitting (with a chocolate mousse and 7up to spice it up ;D)
Thinking about what I need to take back today, also my mum’s birthday present hasn’t come yet. I ordered it 7 days ago. Callum’s on the other hand I ordered on tuesday, and that got here yesterday. Where’s the consistency? It’s not right
OKAY packing time. Then I can spend another weekend gorging myself and sorting shit out.