I have really warm feet because I'm wearing my...
OMG ISN’T THAT LIKE THE MOST INTERESTING THING EVER!!11!”1”!”11! I don’t even know why I’m bothering posting this but I’m totally going to anyway. But I might flesh it out with some more banal and mindless shit first. Like how unruly my hair is being! I had it in rollers overnight and when I took it out this morning it just would not calm down so I...
nottheartdebate: BRITISH ACCENTS AND LESBIANS. :’) nuff said. YOU FORGOT ME YOU ABOMINABLE BASTARD
fortisforte: The Great British Bake Off is on next. This excites me.
I MADE A SANDWICH, IT’S APPARENTLY SOMETHING GIRLS SHOULD DO. And yes they should, they can make sandwiches for themselves because they are strong independent women, and for people they love, because sandwiches are good for showing love. ANYWAY my sandwich was awesome, it was made out of two slices of hovis best of both bread, mayonnaise on each slice, then on one slice i put salami on the...
fortisforte: insatanwetrust: fortisforte: insatanwetrust: fortisforte: emilydreamer replied to your photo: About to go in the oven, omg. Oh god it’s beautiful my lady! You would be my perfect wife ;’) I’m praying it’s not beginners luck! First time seems to be a charm. I’d love to be your wife. Although I’ve agreed to be 3 other people’s wives. STAY AWAY FROM MY WOMAN YOUUUUU XD ...
Beard Compliment Translations:
yourkyriosity: “Wow, that’s a really nice beard you have.” —I want to have sex with you. “Are you working on growing a beard?” —I would be extremely attracted to you if you started growing a beard. “I hope you’re planning on growing out your beard for winter.” —I would be DTF if you had a winter beard. “Your beard looks good today.” —My pants are coming off.
fortisforte: Christina Perry - Jar of Hearts
I will never live that down
my head feels strange. No more red wine for me.
I am a massive retard :’) I drank too much wine and ate too much plum crumble.
When my mom is cooking, i don't help her.
I just go sit at the table like More Laughs Here
is "I hope you get syphilis and die" an acceptable...
I think so :P
myheartkeepsyou: Giving up the Gun-Vampire...
why is it so easy to be hurt all over again
I know feeling is all part of the human condition, but is so much hurt really necessary to make us human? Even when you know something is coming, the blow can still be so hard that it almost shatters you. Even when you know it’s coming, even when you know. It’s just such bullshit. Life is bullshit. But hey, do we lie on the ground in a dusty mess, or pick ourselves up and carry on...
my left hand has gone dead cos I'm leaning on it
and we’ve just got to the sad bit of love and other drugs bububu. sad tiemz. It was really happy before that. Now it’s so so sad. ;_;
I'm going to watch Love and Other Drugs and be...
eating easter eggs in agust cus i'm hisptre as...
I’m watching A Night With Will Young I really enjoy all his music. And he seems like a really nice guy or something. I like nice guys. plus, my life is so freaking hilarious. My latest thing is dragging myself around the house on my hands like a cripple. I should be sectioned. And my mum is just the best thing ever. She’s singing along to all these songs in the most ridiculous voice...
When someone sends you a dirty text while you're...
More Laughs Here
Imagine in 20 years when your son comes from...
Son: Mum, I got detention.
Me: OMG, what did you do?
Son: I hit a kid.
Me: Well you know that will cost you a month without internet.
Son: But that kid said Harry Potter sucks.
Me: COME IN HERE MY BOY, YOU MADE ME SO PROUD. I KNOW I'VE RAISED YOU WELL HEDWIG CROOKSHANKS.
Swagger jaggeeer swagger jagger u shud git sum ov yor own. Swagger jaggggr swagr jggur.
Shaving is a bitch.
hunting for witches (crystal castles remix) SO GOOD.