I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
Hahaha. I’m switching everything off.
I ceebs with all of this.
People who want to get in touch can use carrier pigeons, but not pigeons cos I hate them.
Me and Elvis need some time to ourselves.
May 2010
“The mushrooms do it. They come in the night, and leave.”
—Mother
I’ve never kissed a bear! I’ve never kissed a goon!
BUT I CAN SHAKE A CHICKEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM.
Mum: -comes in and points at phone- I favour large posteriors?
Me: I DUNNOR. -lol-
I FUCKING LOVE ELVIS MORE THAN ANYTHING.
Amusing names from the past 400 years in the county of north yorkshire:
Theodocia, Fortunatus, Cathericke, Sissalay, Chuthbert, Uswand, Tominson, Philadelphia, Septimus, Margaretta, Humble, Rouland, Cecell, Symond, Barbery, Marnine, Barnabas, Fabian, Phythe
Unfort. I can’t find the other 2/3s of the list, there were 12 tiny post its of names. I can only find 4. :( there were some corkers I tell thee.
Also, when I worked with the “book of convictions” there were all sorts, maids who stole linen, 9 year olds with penchants for salted meats and corn, and one guy known only as “Buffalo” and there was no other data about him…
OK
I’m in a super bad mood now so I’m going to listen to metal and throw out all of my belongings. Well, most.
Not even joking.
;_;
CPU usage 10000000%
So bad it’s not even possible
OKAY STOP HAVING A PADDY. I NEED YOU TO FUCKING WORK.
My laptop is such a fucking joke. I’m posting this from the bb cos my laptop has gone FUCKING MENTAL FOR NO REASON.
Oh gawddd I wish I’d let that lovely Alex lad at staples help me out. He was beautiful.
I didn't even realise they were trying to type the lyrics.
- Stranger: hello hello bay
- Stranger: baby u can call me everthing
- Stranger: nanannaan lallalala
- Stranger: Omg lady gaga
- Stranger: telephone
- You: whattabout it?
- Stranger: what what did
- Stranger: u do is a breaking up for me
omg ;_;
“I’m just sat here waiting to die”
gma plz don’t say things like that.
I never want to be left like her. I’d rather die tomorrow than be almost the last.
Oh great grandma
What big cheques you give.
*picks jaw off floor*
OK FYN. DON’T TEXT FOR 48HOURS.
You know I'm drunk when...
I try to convince you that drunkeness is a purely psychological phenomenon. And that if I concentrate enough I will quickly become sober.
My party is going to be a big fat lol @ sobriety.
And so it happens.
He saw me outside. Didn’t come grab me. Decided I’m too fat/blonde/tall/boring (delete as appropriate!) Sent a cursory text to make it seem like he wanted to meet. Then somehow, we’ll just never manage to meet up. Oh dear, big shame. He’ll run out of texts/always be busy/ lose my number.
And that will be that.
I told you so.
so, randomly
I typed in my weight into google images.
All I get are pictures of cage fighters and women with behemoth bahoobies.
NOICE.
oh yeah
I also hate you phone. For never DELIVERING WHEN I NEED YOU TO.
lol jk
It’s not your fault. But still. I’m leaving you downstairs tonight :3
LY BLOUBERRY
